Most people know of Phuket’s infamous reputation. The name conjures images of prancing lady-boys, massages with a certain special ending, and – of course – the ping pong shows.
We decided to experience some of what the town has to offer first hand – when in Rome
It was interesting to see an entirely different crowd in this part of Thailand
What are all these old white dudes doing here?
… That one didn’t take long to find out.
Within just a few hours we had already seen several lady-boys, strutting down the street in their high heels, heterosexual men with confused erections staring after them. Ironically, they tend to be the ones most scantily dressed, acting the most feminine, wearing the most makeup, and, more often than not… you wouldn’t have a clue.
With lady-boys checked off our list, we thought of the other experiences Phuket had to offer. The happy massages weren’t on the top of Kerry’s list… or mine *sigh.*
So that left us with just one option: ping pong shows!
We had heard a lot about these shows and knew more or less what we were getting ourselves in for. But, despite the warnings, online articles and travellers’ stories, we still weren’t entirely prepared for the reality.
We started the night off with several cocktails, mainly to grow the balls needed to walk through the door.
On the other side of the door there was no real stage to speak of, no rows of seating, no curtains drawn in suspense. The other side of the door was, in fact, a strip club.
In retrospect, this really shouldn’t have come as a surprise.
We took our seats between several middle aged men with topless girls (half their age) sat on their laps, and exchanged pleasantries.
As the men around us were offered various sexual favours, we sat and waited for the show to begin.
And so it did.
Dressed in nothing but a night gown, a lady came to the stage and got straight to it. She was all business as she squatted down over a piece of paper, marker pen protruding from between her thighs. Moments later she stood up, showing us a sign reading “Welcome” in hand(?) writing more legible than my own!
We applaud politely.
Without going into too much detail, her succeeding acts involved; bursting balloons with darts, smoking cigarettes and various tricks with ping pong balls, all, needless to say, carried out using nothing but her multi-talented VJ – as Kerry likes to call it.
Thinking the show had ended, Kerry and I prepared to leave all but a little too soon.
Turns out that the show wasn’t over.
Two girls were now sharing the stage, erotically grinding against each other. Their show proceeded to include acts that were actually illegal where we were just weeks before. Kerry pointed out a man sat in the corner, who was enthusiastically showing those around him the prominent outline of his growing package.
The show in general was one neither of us will forget in a hurry. Thanks Phuket, you’ve been… something.
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